


desperate, if nothing else

by Amber_Flicker



Series: That we were not lost from the start [3]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hartmon Week 2017, I guess one scene could be considered, Kidnapping, M/M, Season/Series 04, Unhappy Ending, ralph is there for like... 2 lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-11 05:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12928704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber_Flicker/pseuds/Amber_Flicker
Summary: Every song has it's end.Hartmon Week 2017 - Day One - Alternate Earths





	desperate, if nothing else

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Mercury by Sleeping At Last
> 
> This can't be read stand-alone. It is advised that you read the two previous fics in the series first, if you haven't yet.

"Hartley, think about what you're doin-"

 _"Walk,_ Flash." 

Barry did. He couldn't resist the power. The thing was, he probably could take him down. If he really tried. Maybe. But Hartley had been fast enough to destroy Zoom. It wouldn't be _easy,_ and Barry didn't want to risk it until this went too far. This Hartley had never given them a reason to not trust him before. Barry hoped against hope that he'd back down before he forced them into something regrettable. He wouldn't change any timeline again.

Hartley ripped open a breach with the device Cisco had given to him (to come visit, and now look what it was being used for) and they went through. It didn't open into Zoom's old lair, like he'd been expecting. It wasn't Earth-2's STAR Labs either, though the tech and equipment set up around were similar enough. It seemed like he'd just set up in his apartment, which... made sense, since Barry couldn't remember him ever talking about working with a team, or in a special facility. Not that he told that much about how he went about things anyway, not when they all reacted badly to how he dealt with _problems._

Barry didn't get any longer to think about that. Hartley-2 had brought him here for one reason. "You're going to bring him back."

"I can't do that, and you know it."

"I _will_ make you." Hartley- no, he wasn't Hartley right now, he was fully in Songsmith persona- stepped forward, and the height difference would've made anyone else less intimidating, but not him. Not with the way he changed the very atmosphere around him into something dangerous. "Don't underestimate what I'll do to get him back."

"Where is this coming from? You've never shown any interest in trying to change the timeline, Hartley. You know the consequences." Barry tried appealing to his logical side.

"That's not your concern."

"You're gonna try to force me to bring him back, so I'd say it is."

Hartley glared, but he answered. "Let's just say something happened recently that made me realize that I'm not okay without him."

"What happened?"

"Of course you haven't _noticed,_ it didn't take being around you long to realize how oblivious you are to your team's feelings." That hit right where it hurt, but he tried not to let it phase him. What was he talking about? Had Barry missed something important? He'd been so sure he'd gotten better at noticing when something was wrong with his friends. How could he have missed something big enough to cause this? "Cisco and I fucked, Barry." 

He'd had no idea. But... Cisco had been acting a little odd lately, and he'd put it down to stress. "When was this?" 

"Two weeks ago. I spread my own self-destructive baggage to your Cisco and that's why this is happening, with or without your co-operation." Songsmith's eyes glowed faintly. "What will it be, Flash?"

 

***

 

The sudden blue tear might've surprised someone else, but Hartley knew Cisco too well for that. There might've been key differences between _his_ Cisco and this one, but they were close enough. He'd known this was coming. The plan had been too unplanned, more impulsive than most of what he did. But emotion had gotten the better of him this time. Hartley had tried to pull it off anyway.

"Let him go, Hartley."

"Why should I?"

"This isn't you."

Cisco seemed like he genuinely believed that, too. It only went to show how naive the people on Earth-1 were. "You wouldn't know."

"I know you're rational."

He couldn't really argue against that point, not with any honesty. But grief did make people irrational. It wasn't that he was unaware that he was acting in ways he usually wouldn't. It was that Hartley was beyond caring. He'd see the world burn to be back with his Cisco. And it didn't _matter_ , because he couldn't bring him back, and the one person who could was someone he'd never be able to convince. "What do you suggest, then?"

"Let Barry go back through. We can talk about this."

"...I'll allow it."

Cisco didn't take his eyes off of Songsmith as he ripped open a breach. 

"Cisco, I can't just leave yo-"

"It's fine. I don't need to be protected." Barry would've thought he meant it in the sense that Cisco could defend himself. Hartley knew better. He meant he knew Hartley wouldn't, _couldn't_ hurt him.

"If you don't come back soon-"

"Go!"

Barry, hero that he was, hesitated another moment, but then he was gone. The breach closed behind him. they were alone. Cisco removed his goggles. There wasn't _betrayal_ in his eyes. He wasn't clueless as to why this was happening, then. He knew the blame fell between them. That's why he came over instead of letting the Flash handle it on his own.

"Well?"

 

***

 

He didn't even know where to start. This was the sort of mess Cisco wasn't used to having to deal with. This wasn't trying to make a villain back down. This wasn't a fight. There was no place for Vibe here. This was keeping a person he cared about from making a mistake. It was more than that, with their history, and who they were.

"...Hartley, don't do this. It won't help."

"I can't go on like this." It was an admission of the sort Cisco didn't expect from any Hartley.

"You have us."

"That means _nothing_ to me." Cisco stepped back at the sheer malice in his voice. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts to look at you?"

"Hartley-"

"How much it _hurts_ to hear your voice when I know it's not him, but my mind keeps trying to tell me it is?"

"I know what it's like to lose someone, okay?" Hartley scoffed at that, and it made anger rise in Cisco. He'd been trying to help this Hartley all this time, tried to fix the damage, but it seemed like it hadn't had any affect. He felt like he'd been wasting time trying to get through to someone he would never be able to, and he didn't know whether to feel mad at himself for being so _stupid_ , or sad that this Hartley wouldn't ever be happy again. He wouldn't let himself be.

 

(maybe, he thought, he'd been trying to make up for the friendship he'd never been able to form with his own hartley)

 

"This is pointless."

"It's not-"

Cisco barely caught the glitter of tears in Hartley's eyes before they started to glow. _"Go back through the breach, Cisco."_

He did. He didn't snap out of it until he was across to his own earth and it had closed behind him. When he finally realized what had happened, he wished he'd gone through with an idea a while back, to make some sort of device to negate the affects of Songsmith's powers. He'd dismissed it at the time, thinking it was unnecessary because he was their 

_friend,_ and he'd never done something to make Cisco believe he needed defense against him. He should've known better, after all the times their friends had betrayed them.

"Damn it!" If they weren't so delicate, he probably would've pulled a Harry and thrown his goggles.

"Cisco, what happened over there?" Iris asked. It looked like the whole team had been gathered here by Barry as soon as Cisco crossed back through. 

"He... _made_ me leave." He didn't have to say how, because it was obvious everyone in the room got his meaning. Caitlin looked like she was in doctor-mode, trying to figure out if he'd been hurt without being too obvious about it. Like she was afraid he'd be angry for anyone thinking Hartley-2 could hurt him. Which was ridiculous, but also... not. "I'm fine, but he's not gonna listen to reason."

"What should we do, then?" Everyone turned to where Iris and Barry stood, seeking instruction.

"Sorry, who're we talking about here?" No one answered Ralph.

Iris turned to Cisco. "You really couldn't get through to him?"

"No, I... no."

"Barry, do you think he's too big of a risk?"

"He's not a _villain,_ he's just hurt. We all know what that's like."

"Then... I think maybe it's best we cut off contact." 

"Or we throw him in the pipeline before he becomes a risk in the first place." Harry said. "He's unstable, and he's powerful. You all want to leave my earth to that?"

"Harry!" Caitlin snapped. "He is not our enemy."

"Could've fooled me. How many of you has he mind controlled, exactly, today?"

"Mind control?" 

"Quiet, Dibny!"

Cisco stepped forward, expression dark. How dare Harry imply that. Like he didn't know exactly what grief could drive someone to. Like Songsmith hadn't done what they couldn't. "I'm _not_ locking him up. He's not going to go off murdering people, Harry, he saved your earth, or have you forgotten that?"

"We can't really trust you of all people to make decisions about him, can we?"

"Everyone stop!" Barry's shout finally managed to get the room's attention. "We're not locking anyone up. Iris is right. We all just need to be separate for a while. The other Hartley obviously wasn't ready to deal with Reverb's doppleganger. That's not on him."

"Cisco, do you think you can go talk to him again?" It wasn't a command. She'd let someone else go if Cisco wasn't comfortable with it. He knew that. But he also knew this was his fault. He'd done the thing that tipped Hartley right over the edge. If he'd just showed some more restraint... It didn't matter now. It was done. The least he could do was tell Hartley himself. 

"Yeah, I'll go. Better me than someone else." He put his goggles back on. 

 

***

 

"It's for the best." He said, finally. Cisco stared at him, eyes widening a bit. He likely hadn't expected such an easy agreement. Hartley meant what he said- it was for the best. They weren't going to trust him after this, and he didn't think he could stand looking at _him_ now. He needed space. He needed to learn to let go. He'd never be able to do that if he had his husband's face staring back at him. This... this had been a long time coming.

 

He hated it.

 

"You're okay with it?"

"Do I have a choice?" He fell silent. It was answer enough. "Just go. I'm sure your friends are waiting."

"...I wish it wasn't like this." 

"It's life." Hartley looked away. He didn't want to see the _sympathy_ in his eyes. It just made everything hurt more. It reminded him of all the little things that separated this man from his Cisco. Sympathy wouldn't bring him back. And he didn't have the right to feel hurt about it when he was here only to break off whatever _this_ was.

"I'm sorry."

The worst thing was, it was the truth. Hartley shook his head, shadow of a smile crossing his face. "I know."

 

He didn't look up again until the sound of the breach and the blue light faded.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought since I started this AU in last year's hartmon week, it was appropriate to finish it in this year's. This is not necessarily the end of the series, but anything else will come earlier in the timeline than this fic, because it's the end of the story between these two earths. I do have some other things I'd like to write, particularly in the time between Hartley meeting Reverb and first visiting earth-1.
> 
> This was a bit rushed, because I'm already late getting it up. I may edit later on.
> 
> cliches-and-coffee on tumblr


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